Touching Experiences
by paradoxmachine
Summary: Ianto's boss encourages him to experiment a little, but he really doesn't think this kind of 'touching' is for him. [Jack/Ianto-ish, Oneshot/Drabble, Pre-series. Entirely innuendo.]


Ianto Jones didn't react well to change. It made him impulsive, and he knew it. And that was dangerous, that lack of control, that insecurity. He was climbing without a rope to begin with, and if he didn't stop to think, he'd fall.

Which was why this had to _end._

He was falling already, rolling with nothing to hold on to, down, and down, and down. He was showing up to work early, and he didn't really know why. There was no reason to, except that Jack Harkness seemed to live there. And it was ridiculous to think he was coming here just to see Jack.

He was scouting out the situation, he told himself. Learning Jack's habits was important if he wanted to work around him without getting caught. No one else paid attention, and the trick was making sure Jack didn't either. But it wasn't that hard. The man could be really self-absorbed at times. All Ianto had to do was get him used to him just being around, and it would never be a surprise to see him.

Watching Jack pace around his office was just part of that, wasn't it?

Wondering what he was thinking was part of learning to predict him, right?

It had nothing to do with an infatuation. That was just silly, he had a girlfriend. That thing with the pterodactyl? He'd just been caught up in the heat of the moment.

It wasn't that Jack was intriguing, or anything. It wasn't that air of mystery luring him in. Ianto had no time to waste on things like that. It wasn't Jack's teasing. He did that to everyone, and anyway, why would he _enjoy _that?

Ianto didn't care. It wasn't fun. He didn't _have _fun, anymore. Didn't laugh. Didn't really smile.

Except when Jack was around.

'Maybe I should just go up there and talk to him,' Ianto thought. 'For reasons. Legitimate covert-operation reasons.'

He didn't, because walking into Jack's office and chiming 'housekeeping' might be seen as a little too _forward_. What he actually did was follow him into the greenhouse later that afternoon.

"Coffee?" He said, his eternally convenient excuse.

"You're my hero," said Jack, taking it without looking as he poured over a diagram of what appeared to be a very large lily with teeth at the bottom of the bell.

Ianto hovered silently near him, because he hadn't actually thought this through. Jack usually provided the hook, and he usually didn't need more than an occasional nod to keep him going past that.

"The trick to Morsus Blossoms," Jack started, and inwardly Ianto sighed. _There _we go. "Is the tickle. They're very shy and like to keep their anthers- that's their naughty bits- retracted waaay inside, which is a problem because crushed infusions are the only known cure to Alzarian marsh spider venom."

"You're arousing a flower? Sounds complicated," Ianto said with a brief smile. "Might I ask why?"

"Owen got bit. Again," Jack said with a shrug. "He's unconscious, otherwise I'd make him do it. He has more experience fondling still-lifes."

"Ah. I'd take it on a date first," Ianto said, watching placidly as Jack pulled on a purple glove that went all the way up to his shoulder. "Wine and dine, maybe some flow-… er, right."

"You want a date? Be my guest."

It took Ianto a moment to realize he was still talking about the flower.

"It looks like you have it handled," Ianto said tentatively, glancing at the diagram and then back at the plant. He didn't want his body parts anywhere near those teeth, never mind its 'anthers.'

"Don't be modest, I want to see Ianto Jones' magic touch in action," Jack said with a challenging grin.

"That's very flattering, sir," Ianto said, frowning. It was possible a spur of the moment meeting with Jack had been a bad idea.

"Come on, you look like a man who's open to some experimentation," Jack said, patting him firmly on the shoulder with his gloved hand.

"I'm not sure that's…" Ianto trailed off. Somehow Jack had procured a second glove, and was waving it tantalizingly in front of him.

"Come on, I've seen you handling the wildlife before," Jack said, grin broadening impossibly. "You can seduce a pterodactyl and sing a weevil to sleep. I want to see what else you can do, coffee boy."

Ianto took the glove hesitantly. It didn't look like Jack was going to back down. He frowned at it for a moment, sighed, and then he took off his suit jacket and handed it to Jack.

"And show some enthusiasm!" Jack said, smirking.

"This is my enthusiastic face," Ianto said, grimacing a little as he awkwardly tugged the glove on.

"That'll be the Welsh blood in you," Jack said, leaning forward in anticipation.

Ianto stood in front of the flower. It was an ominous, gaping pit that wafted a scent not unlike garlic.

"Just reach inside," Jack said enthusiastically, "and stroke the upper petals until the feelers come out. They'll probably try to wrap around your wrist- that's normal. You just grip it tightly, and then pull."

"Deceptively simple," Ianto said. The plant quivered as he placed his hand inside it, and Ianto couldn't help but feel a little bit dirty that his boss was watching him. He narrowed his eyes and pet the thing gently. It almost seemed to _purr_, but it wasn't a sound. It was a vibration that came up his arm and made his fingertips tingle.

Ianto made the mistake of looking away, just for an instant, to check on Jack. The plant seized on this, half a dozen feelers wrapping around his hand and pulling him in. Ianto shouted and pulled back, but it wasn't as easy as Jack had implied.

It was pulling him in. He was going to get killed by a _flower_.

"Ianto-" Jack said, and then suddenly he was behind him with his arms around his waist, pulling.

They was _crawling_, Ianto realized, with a shudder. They were getting longer, weaving up his arm, tugging him in. Something was _ripping_-

"My shirt!" Ianto gasped in horror as his sleeve tore off, the glove going with it. He fell backward into Jack's arms.

"I think that's the least of our worries," said Jack. The Morsus Blossom was still coming for them, long tendrils thrashing violently. Jack reached over Ianto's shoulders and grabbed them with both hands, pulling hard. There was a snap, and finally they broke off. The flower writhed and visibly flinched back, petals clamping shut, but their prize had already been retrieved.

They stood like that for a minute, one of Jack's arms still around Ianto's shoulder, panting.

"I think I'll stick with the Weevils," Ianto said with a relieved laugh. He slid out of Jack's arms and took a few steps back, watching the flower warily, but it appeared to have had enough.

"Think of the bright side, it could have eaten all of your shirt." Jack paused, "Well, the bright side for you, maybe."

"I expect you to buy me a new one," Ianto said, checking his arm over for marks. There were bruises forming in several places already. He winced.

"You could just borrow one of mine," said Jack.

Ianto looked up at him, lips pursed in an unamused smile.

"Oh, we're not the same size," he said.

Jack leaned back, hands on his hips, and ran his eyes inspectingly over him.

"I don't know, we should probably measure," Jack said. He winked.

Ianto stared at him blankly for a long few seconds, then turned, and walked away.

Never again, he thought, would he enter that room. Especially not with Jack Harkness.


End file.
